What is Anger

 Anger is a normal and common emotion to experience; however, sometimes we may find it difficult to control our anger or we may be subject to inexplicable and irrational outburts. Recognising this is important, not only because our anger negatively impacts others, but also because it takes a toll on our own mental health. Anger can sometimes be a learnt behaviour from our childhood environments. What we feel is coloured by previous input into our sub-conscious minds.
We can suffer from implusiviity and act on a whim, displaying behaviour characterised by little (or no) forethought, reflection, or consideration of consequences. However, if deprive ourself of feeling the emotion and attempt to bottle up our anger, we risk becoming numb and withdrawn. Alongside this, if we constantly try to conceal our anger, we will more likely experience "inexplicable" outbursts in the future.  You may be worried about feeling trapped and living with the shame of your anger. Some of us mask our anger by partaking in drug use, drinking too much, pursuing unfulfilling sexual partner, or engaging in other types of self harm as an attempt to self sooth. 

Types of Anger

• Chronic Anger.
• Constructive Anger.
• Deliberate Anger.
• Judgemental Anger.
• Overwhelming Anger.
• Paranoid Anger.
• Passive Anger.
• Retaliatory Anger.

Long-term physical effects of uncontrolled anger

• increased anxiety
• high blood pressure
• heartache

Anger can escalate and lead to a mental health disorder involving sudden episodes of aggression, impulsivity and disruptive behaviour.

If you have anger issues, you can intentionally break objects when angry, (which you usally regret), verbally and phyically abuse people or animals, have frequent road rage and have temper tantrums. You can become angry quickly seemingly for little or no provocation. You become frightening and threaten losing honest relationships with significant others. Trust is often lost with isolating consequences.

Do I need Anger Management?

You need anger management when you leave others around you feeling frightened and you can not see or stop the hurt that you cause. This is often the case when you can not express anger constructively.

What Anger may look like

There is often a pattern with outburtst of anger, and it may look like the following:

First there is the Buildup, (rooted in multiple factors, such as self-esteem, expectations, and past experiences.) Next, you may experience the Spark (the "trigger" that ignites an angry outburst.) Then the Explosion. This can involve criticising others, pulling rank, blaming others, being unreceptive, listing injustices, avoiding responsibility, leaving loved ones, using others, rejecting compromise, judging others, adopting a condescending attitude, and withholding finances. Lastly, you may experience the Aftermath. This is usually miriad of negative, immature, and destructive feelings such as blame, denial, regret, shame, and guilt. Several explorational and behavioural tools can help to pinpoint and resolve unwelcomed lack of self-control. Once you can understand the triggers in your life, you can be on your way to gaining self control and free yourself from outbursts. The healthiest way to express your anger is in an assertive and calm manner. To do this, you have to learn how to make clear what your needs are and how to meet them without hurting others. This can be achieved by expressing, suppressing, and calming your anger. There are a number of tools that can be used to help explore your life, past or present by recording behaviours, challenging and making appropriate changes to the way we express our anger.